One reason you need to read with your child every night, starting tonight!
Let’s get introduced:
Children’s books - We all have our favorite, one that brings back warm and fuzzy feelings. For me it’s Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson. Every weekend as a child I would have sleep overs at my grandmother’s. She didn’t have many children’s books she said, but had one little old beat up one from when my uncle was a child (a 40 year old book!). Some of the pages were ripped, the cover had been scribbled on, and my grandmother was worried that the pictures weren’t captivating enough for little me. I fell in love. That little book, not more than 4x5 inches, made me feel secure and loved. But it wasn’t the actual book that injected me with happiness; it was the interaction.
Unlike screen time, picture books require engagement, interaction, and attention from an adult. To quote Ellen Handler Spitz from her book “Inside Picture Books” (1999), children books “require the participation of warm, breathing adult human partners who have available laps, keen eyes and ears, arms adept to holding while turning pages, and perhaps a flair for the dramatic.” It doesn’t matter what book your reading, but if you have your child on your lap you are fostering a warm and fuzzy memory and strengthening your relationship.
“In early childhood, the separations among different spheres of functioning are not yet firmly established, and young children come only gradually to distinguish clearly between dreams, fantasies, and waking states, between the self and others, between a picture and the thing pictured. Thus, the artifacts presented to them make a deep and lasting impression.” (Spitz, 1999)
What Harold and the Purple Crayon taught me (the personal):
It taught me self worth – That simple interaction I had with my grandmother once a week at bedtime made me feel wanted and loved. She took the time out of her night to sit down with me and give me her full attention for a whole 15 minutes. Since her attention was fully on me and that book, she made me feel that I was worth reading to.
It taught me to never give up – If you’re not familiar with the actual book itself, its about a little boy named Harold who goes for a walk in the moon light with nothing but his purple crayon. He draws the exciting landscape and adventures around him but eventually needs to find his way back to bed. He does return, safe and sound.
It taught me how to regulate my own feelings – Okay, this book alone didn’t teach me how to regulate myself, but it did help out. Because Harold becomes frightened by a dragon, that he created, as well as nearly drowns he needs to remain calm and keep persisting until he finds his bedroom.
A few things that children’s books can do for you (the professional):
It can strengthen your child’s attachment – The simple routine of reading 1 or 2 books at bedtime can also help your child feel safe and secure. They notice that you’ve taken time to sit down and give them your full attention.
It can help children work through feelings – Books can help children separate their own big feelings and project them onto a character. It feels safer that way.
It can help with behavioral issues – Children act out for many different reasons and it’s not always easy to understand or even to pin point the cause. Sometimes the act of spending 10 minutes of quality time a day can make the biggest difference.
It helps create a bond with your child – I always recommend reading your own favorite story book to your child. This not only helps you share a special part of you with your child, but you’re more likely to stay engaged and actively participate in the story time yourself!
Conclusion:
One purpose of reading books with your child isn’t necessarily to help with with their reading skills or practice reading compression but something even more important: loving, tender human attention. Reading a few minutes together every night before bed time has been shown to increase a secure attachment, supports emotional regulation, as well as decreases any misbehaviors. What book do you want to read tonight?
